One thing I hate is when I finally reach a human being and it’s clear that the rep is being forced to read a script. And that means they probably have little to no ability to solve my problem.

Management is wasting both our time with their CYA, boilerplate BS

I worked phone support for a few companies for a few years, this is how to Karen: Try to bait the ai, companies are liable for promises made by their hallucinating chatbots. Chat support first, who wants to talk to people? If you do need to call, enter identitng information once, then repeatedly press 0 to get human support. Ask tier 1 support, if they say no then flex that Karen superpower “I’ll need to speak your manager”; those people are individuals just collecting a paycheck. If the floor manager (many have a 3x request policy) can’t see the situation from the human perspective and resolve/waive, they will only care if someone above them gets upset, the ways to do that are threaten legal action. No sovciet bs, but it helps to use contract terminology like “agreed upon terms”, “failure to meet industry standards” and “breach of contract”. If they don’t get jostled immediately, your next escalation is tag the intern on social media with a negative sentiment; or Google the company name followed by email for the office of the president. This is the pr address, CEO assistant or community director which again have the power to step in and resolve. You can also think outside the box and leave negative play store reviews (different intern).

Each conversation should be less then 2 minutes + wait time and if that can’t resolve it, you need to close your account (which might take you to retention!) or potentially move. You can justify 1 more call during a different shift. There is no need to get mad, state that are you upset and are looking for resolutions. Use an I feel statement, and be sure to ask to leave notes on the account regarding your conversation. They have a UI with comment fields in the ticket that are displayed while you are on the phone and it helps sell the situation with comment history.

Yes, after the rep had personally been trying to play dumb for almost 30 minutes. As a CSR myself I know it shouldn’t take 30 minutes to explain your delivery person THREW MY PACKAGE OVER MY 8 FOOT FENCE FEDEX I FUCKING SAW THEM DO IT. THE PACKAGE SAID FRAGILE ON IT YOU STUPID CUNTS WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE SECURITY FOOTAGE

I kinda blacked out because I absolutely loathe being unkind to customer-facing workers but dear Christ this was a $300 object and I could hear the smugness as the guy played up his Indian accent (suddenly much more understandable after I snapped) while saying “I’m sorry sir I don’t see what the problem is they delivered your package???”

Fuck that guy, he deserves nasty customers every call

Yes. There was a new streaming service that I signed up for. I used an email alias and the confirmation email never arrived. They had no way to change my email address or activate my account except for me clicking the link in my email.

After a month my free trial expired (without me ever being able to log in), they added a second month of free trial while trying to activate my account. This went on for 5 months, finally the 6th month they did not give me another free month and I was charged. Still no solution for the situation. 7th month arrives and I get charged again. The 8th month I lost it. I knew most of the support and customer service reps at this point as I had talked with also all of them multiple times a week for months. But with no solution in sight and being charged for multiple times months I finally lost it on one of the CSRs. Surprisingly while I was on the phone with them they were able to cancel my account and issue a refund.

I’ve definitely gotten angry about a situation while on the phone with a customer service rep, but not with the rep themself. I make it a point any time I’m audibly angry when on the phone to state that I’m angry at the company, not at the person I’m speaking with, and that I understand that it’s not their fault. It seems to help a lot; I used to work in customer service and I sure appreciated it when people made that distinction to me. It’s okay to be upset, just don’t take it out on a CSR.

Yes, although for a good reason.

I ate at a fairly well-known cafe where I live, and had a sandwich and side salad. I finished the salad, and near the end I felt a weird crunch in my mouth. Suddenly I could taste blood near my gums, and when I looked at what was left of the salad I could see broken glass.

Obviously, I was a little panicked, and my wife quickly called someone over to say that there was glass in my food. One person stayed with me while the manager went to the back, and found out that one of the chefs had broken a glass on the table, but had just washed the salad clean rather than throwing it. By this point I was really embarrassed because around 30 people were staring to see what was happening, given that I had blood coming out of my mouth

I said that this was probably in other people’s food, so they should probably tell others, but instead of responding they handed me cash to cover our meal, apologised, and walked away. I shouted at them to say that they shouldn’t ignore it because others were eating the same salad. My wife chimed in and told everyone that we had found glass in the salad and that they shouldn’t eat it.

I’ve never gone back, but a few years later I had told someone that story and they said that they’d heard a rumour about it from locals, so it seems that people remembered that story and stayed away.

A few times. Usually, like many others, I let the rep know that it’s not their fault but I’m angry and try to escalate to someone who has the authority to assist. Three times I went over the line. I’m going to leave out a lot of details on the ISP ones because one would be far too long and the other could potentially out some of the parties involved. It helped in every case, and I genuinely feel bad about one because I could have gotten someone fired.

Once an HP rep stonewalled me for hours and I baited him into saying something fucked up on a recorded line. I hung up, called back, repeated what the rep said, informed them that it was recorded, and asked for a supervisor. I got one immediately and got my problem solved. I’m not proud of the way I handled it but I was young and not thinking about how my actions might affect others.

Another time was a national ISP. Every single time I called all the supervisors were in a meeting (yeah, right). My service worked almost 2 out of every 3 days and I wasn’t getting nearly the speeds I was paying for. I got on with a rep who told me about yet another supervisor meeting. So I said I’ll hold. I told him that I had vacation time and no Internet so I had nothing else to do but fuck up his call time statistics and tell dirty jokes. In those days at that call center they weren’t allowed to hang up unless you were straight up abusive. He blinked before I did because he was supposed to have already gotten off work and I was in the middle of telling bad limericks. So I got a supervisor and they actually got me fixed up the next day.

The last time was a different (local this time) ISP. I had requested specific times for repair because I was working nights and had been without Internet for weeks. I was told that was no problem. But they repeatedly showed up in the middle of the day (supposedly, I never heard from them so they weren’t ringing the doorbell but every time I called they claimed to have come out and no one was home) and telling me it’s my fault for being asleep and never letting me talk to anyone except for the receptionist. So I called one morning insisting I needed to talk to someone else because it had been weeks and she wouldn’t put me through so I let out a string of curse words and the supervisor interrupted me telling me not to talk to their employees like that. I told her about all the trouble I’ve had and that since she was there and had the receptionist lie to me about her being busy that I didn’t give the slightest shit what she thought. I told her that I was coming off nights and unless she wanted me up there every day I had off explaining to anyone in a suit walking in exactly how I was treated and that she was having her employees lie for her she’d have someone out that evening who would ring the doorbell and fix my shit.

It turned out that the issue was with their connection at the box on the outside of my apartment building so they should have been able to fix it without my input at all. No one bothered to fucking check. I seriously don’t think anyone came out but I can’t prove that.

There’ve been a couple times. I make a distinction between frustration at the company and the person, but sometimes you run into reps that are willfully unhelpful or actively malicious for their own gain.

Two cases come to mind. I’ve had an ISP rep call me about updated prices, who then proceeded to try and sell me a broadband and streaming bundle subscription. I would have gotten a slightly faster speed, plus the streaming BS. Same price as I was already paying.

I specifically asked if unbundled contracts had also been changed, and the dude said “no”. I checked the prices online while still on the call, and the bastard was straight up lying. Without the streaming bundled, the price was lower and came with even more speed. I told him this, and he asked “oh do you want that then?”. I replied “yes, but not if it gives you a sales bonus”, so I hung up and signed up for the new contract via the ISP website.

In the other case I was shopping for jeans, and the store rep repeatedly handed me elastane-ridden skinny jeans a few sizes too small, insisting they’d look better, even as I kept telling him the exact size I wanted, and that I preferred the 100% cotton denim, loose fit jeans. At the fourth pair of skinny jeans I told him to fuck off, and just went through the store myself until I found what I was looking for.

I had a flat tire at midnight once. Tried for about an hour to change it myself before calling a tow truck company that said it was open. Got routed to a call center who said they had to contact one of their freelance trucks, after paying $250 over the phone. A little more back and forth and about 90 minutes later (when they said it’d be 30 minutes), no truck ever appeared. The call center (third rep that night) called and said the one person they had working tonight broke down outside of cell service, can they come out in the morning? I said that won’t work, I’ll just cancel and get a refund. They said it’d take 3-4 business days to get the refund and there’d be a $50 refund processing charge.

I didn’t quite blow up at them, but any time I have to stand up for myself I get shaky and struggle to keep the anger out of my voice. I explained (several times) that there was no way that was acceptable and that I would like to speak to their manager. “I spoke to my manager and there’s nothing we can do, that’s just the cost of processing a refund.” Well I paid for services that I didn’t receive, due to no fault of my own. Let me speak to your manager. Another hold. “My manager is willing to pay the refund himself this one time.” Yeah ok sure thanks bye.

20 minutes later my tire was changed by a different tow truck company who had a real employee answer before the second ring, had multiple trucks on duty, didn’t even ask for payment until after the work was done, and it was about $80. I fully expected to have to issue a chargeback for the first company’s charge but fortunately it never showed up on my card statement.

In person at an apple store.

I bought an iphone used off a friend who stopped being my friend immediately after. I never wanted an apple product, but my phone broke, I was poor and he sold it to me for $50.

I didn’t know you needed the apple id and password to SIGN OUT of anything. I sent him messages, did the whole “click here to request a new password” thing so he would get an e-mail about it…to his apple e-mail which, let’s be honest, no one uses.

Not being able to use the full functionality sucked, but I could manage. What was worse was receiving pictures and messages intended for him.

I did what any sane person would do and brought it to the apple store. The first person who helped me repeated “Our security systems protect your privacy” so many times, no matter what I said, I lost my shit, shouted “I would like to sign out so I can stop seeing nudes of this guy’s girlfriend!”

They didn’t help and I bought an android.