STOP POSTING PICTURES OF THE SCROLLS! I swear this generation is reckless for upvotes. I only caught a glimpse and I saw the position I’m going to be shitting in when I die.

I’ve slowly worked on my wife and now she properly identifies species of local birds unprompted. I’m so proud of her.

A schmetterling is the approximate amount of shit one spackles into the bowl of the toilet after a particularly fibrous day. It’s not so much that it clogs the plumbing or anything, but it certainly leaves a schmetterling of evidence behind for the next man to attempt to knock loose with his stream.

A very beautiful word.

I’m more of a Mephisto guy myself, but it never hurts to run Baal.

Have we forgotten Revan and Malak’s misuse of the Starforge already?!

🎵 Fruit and vegetables keep us alive… 🎵

(OP imagining the invention of the hamburger)

“HOW EVER CAN WE EAT THIS GLISTENING PUCK OF MEAT WITHOUT GETTING OUR HANDS ALL GREASY?!”

I perceive remaining time much better with an analogue clock. It’s also why I perceive time in fractions. I think it’s the superior clock, and people should probably learn to fucking read one since they’re everywhere.

I also think it’s kind of insane that we’re not at least learning how to read cursive in schools anymore. There are countless documents written in English that English speakers will not be able to properly decipher.